"Since you like the "you can" phrase so much, allow me to tell you what "you can" do. YOU CAN...{edited for this blog}
YOU CAN follow the inspiration God already gave you. But, you probably won't, because underneath your cheery "deep" skin is the real you. YOU ARE afraid. YOU ARE lonely. YOU ARE a chicken.
YOU CAN have faith!
YOU CAN choose the right and...{edited}"
Hmm. I know the rest of my readers won't understand what this is all about, but I know "YOU" read my blog. I received this heartfelt message. Thank you. Here is my response...
First of all, I respect your reasons for creating a one-way conversation, as you erased your account right after sending this message. You have your reasons, and I trust you. And yet, I am choosing not to play that way.
My dearest friend...I'm looking you in the eyes right now...I'm looking deep inside of you...and I'm attempting to contact you this way.
I love you for the gift of your energy that you are putting into your words for me. You love me, that is clear. You believe in me, that's is extremely clear.
I stand by my decisions and actions solidly, of which you have quite piercingly criticized. The Creator continues to speak and I am listening.
I ask one of two things of you...you can choose between them if you desire.
1. I invite us to listen to each other. You'll be surprised what has happened in my life in the last 4 weeks, and why I've decided what I have. Let's have a two-way conversation. I'm inviting you to know the truth because you care, and I'd like to put your mind at rest about these events.
2. If that isn't possible in our current reality and it is necessary for you to remain behind a wall, I just ask you to trust me. I am not struggling with loneliness. It is a mirror. People do all sorts of untrue things in the name of loneliness because they can't bear to look in that mirror and see what's really inside. Sometimes I do get lonely, but I stare long and hard at that mirror, and what I have learned to see in my reflection has become my friend. Loneliness has helped me learn how to breathe easily in my skin. It's a check-in with myself. Loneliness is not my enemy. It is my teacher.
But yes, I am afraid...you got that one right. Sometimes I'm afraid of living into my power all the way. I'm afraid that every paradigm I've built from the very beginning of my conscious life will shift just enough to make me collapse. I'm afraid when I don't see enough evidence of all the faith I have, so must I respond with just more faith? Sometimes I'm afraid of the chasm between where I am and where I want to be. That's what I'm currently dealing with, in these things you've criticized me for. Is it wrong to be afraid, or just not to admit it? But make no mistake, I'm not afraid of love or its aftermath. In the life I have chosen to live, both are fully inevitable and I surrender wholly to them.
Name-calling is beneath you. Yes, I have fears. But I'm not afraid enough for you to call me or anyone else a chicken.
Anyway, I love you. May you know it and feel my care for you too.
Thank you for taking stock in my life.
3 comments:
Sigh. That reads like the emails I've received from my father the past three years. I understand where he's coming from, and wonder if the desire for understanding will ever be two way in this life time.
At least I KNOW we still love each other.
I'm sending a dose of courage your way. Even from deep within your hidden soul... courage to reach your AMAZING potential. SHINE, girl!
Emily Moon, once again, your words speak loudly to my heart! I feel so similarly about things.
I too feel lonely and afraid of my own potential... of doing it on my own... and simply of the unknown. Stepping forward and having faith takes guts. I applaud you.
Whenever I fear my own light, I remember my favorite quote by Marianne Williamson (it's on my blog if you wanna check it out).
I also remember where fear comes from. It's a silly tool used by the Adversary... and what the heck is fear anyway? It's not real. It's not tangible. It's something we create as our own excuse for a stumbling block.
You keep truckin.
If you ever feel lonely, remember the angels who carry you and the many friends pushing you along the way.
nicely done
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