Thank you all.
jonathan, thank you for making yourself known.
connectedlight, how did you get to be the way you are so naturally?
comment deleted person, speak your truth.
julie, your thoughts are precious to me.
stargirl, viva you and your Fruitcake!
paul, yep...performance art night all over again. Those debates were fun. Thanks for the stream of collectible words.
sara, it's so very good for my heart to meet you.
tamara, I have to remember that it's because of our blogs that we're still in touch. I don't do telephones well.
iron chef boyardee, thanks for being my behind the scenes man, always there.
emilyn, you are right on. And I'm blown away by it.
skye, I'd love to hear your prediction sometime.
kaarina, I have needed you. I wish that the internet wasn't as stressful as you've described. I think we all need you. Don't let that stress you because I'm of the mindframe that the whole world needs you.
milk, I promise to never even try to shake you. Milk is too valuable in my life.
mjd, blast from the past. Checked out your blog and found some treasures there.
ninny beth, I'm glad you're here. I very much enjoy you in my life.
chelle, your apartment in Jersey was one of the best sleeps I've ever had.
claritythrunoise, I'm honored. Seriously.
teresa, WOW. You have blown me away with your presence here.
luminainfinite, did you know that even your name illuminates when I read it? how did you do that?
tahnee, yep I got it.
dainon, I go to your blog for the same reason. Something always intrigues me.
the voyeur who is still deciding what to say, it's your turn. I know you're there, you might as well say hello.
I'm going to take a little break...I don't know how long...
In the meantime, would you mind answering the following question:
From those of you who have blogs with the intent of sharing your life, what percentage would you say is edited? Here's an example of the same scenario:
A:"I just broke up with Jim/Jan, I'm completely depressed, my life's a mess and I'm sobbing and eating cartons of ice cream. Is calling him/her ten times a day pathetic?"
0% edited
B: "What's your favorite kind of Ben and Jerry's?"
99% edited
15 comments:
Good question. For me, I keep in mind who can read my blog and who I have proof that they are reading it. With that in mind, I don't post things taht I would not like used against me by my ex wife or her family. For the most part, I use the blog to put out what I don't mind everyone knowing and keep the specific information that is on a need to know basis off the site. That is simply my style of dealing with information anyways. I typically give an over abundance of the frivilous and neglect to mention important stuff to anyone that doesn't really need to know it. Often even that information is filtered significantly because there is too much in my life that is private.
On a side note, I don't seem to filter out as much as you used in your example, Normally I'd go about halfway if I mention it at all.
Another note. If you really want to know what is going on with me, talk, email, or call me. I'm an open book to my friends and you are on the list of friends that I can't really hide anything from for reasons we both know.
Have fun! Have a Merry Christmass if I don't hear much from you before then.
Most of my family members aren't aware that I blog. So I guess that is my way of editing. For some reason the idea of my family reading my thoughts etc scares me. We have never really been on the same page that way. So for me blogging is a release and I feel free to type what I am feeling, yet I don't let my family know my blog exists.
However verbally if someone asks me my thoughts and feelings I am quite open and honest---yes even to my family. Is that a good thing? I'm not sure....
I love your examples!
I write my blogs how I would talk to a friend, I guess. I won't say things that would hurt someone else, and I say as many things as I like/need to get my ideas across. Talking percentages, I'd say I'm 8.5% edited, give or take a little, depending on the day.
For instance, I edited some hospital details, not because I don't want to share it, but because I doubt most readers would like to hear all the disgusting stuff that goes on in there.
Hey, I just assumed you knew I was here, that's why I didn't say anything on your last entry. I do love your blogs, it's one of the reasons I started my own.
Every one edits, always. Censorship in our minds is alive and well. Some days it's 23%, some days it's 98%, and in very brief glimmers it's 3%
I think...I mean, I've always had a hard time with percentages being the literary savant that I am (oh, how I wish you could get my tone of voice on here!)
In a way, I feel like blogging is an opportunity for me to be less edited than I might be on the phone or face to face. I can write out my thoughts and edit them before I post them, ensuring that I say exactly what I mean. I can write about topics that are uncomfortable, push that post button, exhale, and not have to deal with the immediate reality of people’s reactions. This has been extremely liberating when I want to explain something as complex as leaving the LDS church.
I guess that I choose which parts of my life that I want to share. I definitely don’t share everything because some things are between Dani and me, or between a friend and me. I guess I feel like there are some things that (for me) would be inappropriate to blog about. Not everything needs to be public; but when you want to reach out to a larger audience and share something important (or trivial) I think it can be really efficient and effective.
90% edited
Usually I'm an 80% edited or more sort of guy. Mostly, it's because I never think anything going on in my life needs to bore anyone else, so I just post random thoughts and social commentary.
I think I post things that are true to life on my blog, I just edit out complete events. Funny that I would say "just" like it's no big deal. I have a hard time letting people in completely and asking for help mostly out of fear of not getting any help, thus feeling rejected. And by help, I mean love, acceptance, patience, reassurance, comfort, or sometimes literally help. I usually fear that most people only like me when I'm happy and contributing to their happiness but if I ever needed anything from them, they would just let me know I'm not worth the trouble. Which is even more ridiculous since I never feel this way about my friends. So now, I've been more open on your comments than I have ever been on my blog. But I have been thinking about this a lot lately and thinking about posting something on my blog that is more that just surface fun. Maybe all the positive comments people have shared with you will give me the push I need.
And to answer your last question about ice cream, I like Chubby Hubby the best, quite the mix of peanut butter, pretzel, and chocolate.
i would say blog or no blog, I typically share about 30% of what's really going on. I think most people think I'm an "open book" though because I talk a lot -- but really I hold most everything back.
I've been backing off of the blog lately too. Mostly because of my recent breakup. I don't want my boyfriend-type to see that I'm pretty much miserable without him. I tend to avoid the ice cream and instead choose to just not eat at all.
That's about 75% of the truth right there. The full 100% would include how much weight I've lost, how long it really takes me to get out of bed every day, and the amount of therapy I'm now investing in.
Those details are embarrassing and force me to feel more vulnerable than I ever like to admit on my own blog. Plus, it doesn't make for a very "readable" story for you guys.
I pretty much am hating my blog these days. I wanted it to be an open forum for my writing and thoughts, but it's turned into a spot that has revealed more than my 30% comfort level. So I think I'm banning mine for a bit longer too.
Sad. :(
Tamara, I'm sorry but your post here cracked me up! It's so thoroughly authentic and honest and sad... and yet your smile is still shining in my mind. I really love this authenticity spot you created Em. You are such a genius.
Let's see what I can add to the authenticity.... deep secret... okay... here's one... um, nope, not that one... um... let's see...not that one... DEFINITELY NOT THAT ONE.... uh.... uh.....
sheesh. How did I get so not good at this? I used to be the Queen.
uh.... Okay, I'm mostly not posting secrets because I am afraid if I do then I won't get married.... and that the reason I'm not married is because I always told my secrets to the guys I wanted to marry and that ruined everything... so I think this time I'm keeping my mouth shut about everything until after the wedding... how's that for a good and SCARY idea?
every entry i post, i assume my parents are going to read, as this is a major way that they keep up with me. i also assume that no one reads my blog that i don't know. (this assumption was just disproven with a really inappropriate comment left by a stranger this week, but i still choose to ignore these anonymities anyway.) so do i ever write about crazy sex or the like? no. emotionally however, i leave 95% out there. if someone that reads this can't handle my truths or lets it affect their perception of me, they might as well deal with it sooner than later. it pulls me out of the circle of having to explain myself or my heart sometimes and i like that.
so in all, personal escpades and 5% emotion withdrawn, i'd say my blog is 88% open book.
have a good break...
just came back again after writing a post based on your last two posts, in which i came to the realization that i am much to self-conscious and insecure to be completely honest.
thanks for calling me out and giving me something to think about.
I write as I feel. So sometimes it comes out in raging poetry, sometimes in the day-to-day hum drum, sometimes in the thoughtful analysis of my experience, and sometimes just in the pictures that depict my reality. I try not to hold back on expressing what I am feeling at the particular moment of blogging.
That said, it is natural to edit. Because 1) Recently the US Peace Corps has started reading my blog and forcefully censoring me (pooh on that), 2) I will always be cautious with certain important people who I know feel differently than me, and 3)we are social creatures who thrive off acceptance.
Most of the time I don't let myself worry about how people will react and post as I feel. This is partly reinforced by the lack of comments indicating that my blog is getting read:).
All in all, blogs should be free flowing thought. Save the censorship for Wikipedia.
Here's another twist on this idea that I'm trying... separate blogs written with different groups in mind so that you can show one side of yourself to most people and have a less filtered version for those closer to you. I'm decided to try that because I've needed to explore other blogging venues due to changes in my old blog spot's set up. I also recognize that I'm changing and don't want some changes to be read as clearly by people who were dedicated readers of my old blog.
I think for me it depends on the topic. Sometimes I don't edit at all, sometimes I'm 30% edited. If it gets much more that that, I sometimes get bored writing less than the full detailed truth, and instead of writing about it, I just call the people I can really talk to. There are of things I don't blog about at all, which are very important to me. I have thought about having multiple blogs as well, but that seems like too much effort to maintain them, and I don't even have that many readers for my one blog! So I work on balancing my need for protecting myself, with giving myself the outlet that I need.
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