Life.
I made mention to him of a conversation I had a couple days before. A new friend of mine, who is an intuitive for a living, told me I could stand to enjoy my life a little more. She said I have remarkable gifts of inter-dimensional, cosmic, high vibrational living, and that she has never seen anyone in all her years of being an intuitive who was as connected to their highest self as I was. Yes, she said, this is all good and it serves me. But I'm still human on planet earth, and with all my gifts in my dimensional traveling through star matter, I am missing some beautiful learning in just being right here, right now. Just fully human.
You'd think this would be a good message to receive. I was distraught. I wanted to defend myself and how "good" I am already at enjoying my human life. Oh man do I have ample evidence of enjoying life! I wanted to surround myself with a hundred friends who would be in an uproar at such a preposterous sentiment, and would loudly attest to my refined skills at enjoying life fully. My competitive side was noticed, as I had the thought that out of those hundred of friends, I would call a dozen forward who would testify that I am actually the very best they know at enjoying life. So take that.
I shared all this with Omer.
He shrugged and said, "Well, even if she's intuitive, maybe she just got it wrong about you."
I thought about this for a minute.
"Or maybe it bothers me so much because she got it right," I replied.
Instead of going out into the nightlife of Madrid that night, I spent time alone and thought more about it. For hours, just thinking.
I talked with Life. Have I not enjoyed you fully? Have I not seized your moments enough? Haven't I embodied the richness of who you are? I even had some childlike guilt come in... (Have I done something wrong?)
This morning, like a caressing hand smoothing my hair, Life answered.
"My sweetest Emily, it's nothing like that. There's more richness I want to offer you, if you choose to receive."
More?
Life continued, "You can eat the same food, and it will become more succulent. You'll walk the same busy sidewalks, and feel more connected to the vibrancy of humanity as you tune in to appreciate the scene. You'll hear the very same music, and you'll feel more joy as you open yourself wide to feel every vibration."
This concept wasn't new to me, and it's not new to any who practice mindfulness or meditation. What feels new is that there are levels of enjoyment I truly have not experienced yet, with the mindful awareness I practice as the key through the door.
As my readers, you are watching me embark on adventures around the world. For me, there is a richness only experienced by the traveler. But what Life is saying, I believe, is for all who are alive. Whether we are traveling, or we are in the season of life where we are staying in one place, there is always an invitation to experience more joy in being alive. The ride in an elevator, and turning on a lamp. Life breathes in and out of me the very same way when doing the dishes and answering the phone as when climbing a mountain or enjoying the clapping of an inspired audience.
In the big dreaming I'm always talking about, when we all reach rockstar status and hit our first million, we still will be riding elevators, answering the phone and turning on lamps, even as rockstars and millionaires. There's no where I can go and no level of success I can attain on the planet where Life won't be calling me to enjoy the rich fullness of dishes and lamps.
So I started right there in that cafe. I looked at my quinoa salad. I noticed how the quinoa stuck to the side of the vegetables in little circles. I noticed the rainbow reds and greens and oranges of the vegetables stored in the glass fridge behind the counter. I felt my jeans tight around my crossed legs. I struck a conversation with the manager of the cafe, and I made sure to look him in the eye and smile before leaving.
I keep a dream book in my purse, a place where I write down all the things I ever want, large and small. (I, and the millionaire mentors I listen to, highly recommend having one. And use blue ink on white paper.) I was reminded in that cafe of something I wrote down in my dream book about two years ago, at a time when life was very difficult and I was very much NOT into it. I wrote my dream as:
"I want to understand what's so great about being human."
I am star matter, I am infinite, and I am a goddess. And I'm about to become better than ever at just being...human. I'm a little nervous that it means I have to fail a lot, and what else...get really sick? More heartbreak so I can discover the pain of love? Sigh. Life is just not always very friendly. No wonder I want to fly out of my body to the stars. I know how to, so I do. Well... it looks like I get to connect heaven and earth a little more through me. Life living in this human family promises more. Consistently more. So ok. I'm curious enough not to miss it.
This is the painting I was looking at, appreciating and enjoying, as I wrote this blog article.
