I did everything I could think of to make it happen beforehand, and I even had a couple great leads. My closest lead was connecting with a musician in Jerusalem on Couch Surfing. The couch surfing community is a successful gifting economy circle that I've personally utilized, most recently in India and Mexico. I felt it would be an ideal avenue to connect with someone and plan a concert, as our core beliefs are perfectly in alignment. A young Israeli musician I contacted wrote back, expressing his interest in hosting a house concert, possibly to even perform together.
But by the time I got on the plane to Israel, he had completely stopped responding to my emails. All my other efforts had also failed.
So... I'm a world-traveling musician boarding the plane to Israel, with absolutely no plan of a concert, a venue, and no reliable contact of a single person I knew in the country. And because of my responsibilities on this trip of helping as a nanny for two small children, it was impractical to even bring my guitar. Successful new musicians don't board planes without their guitar, just "hoping" one shows up somewhere on the other side.
And yet, I purposefully packed my guitar capo. As small of a gesture as it was, it was my way of showing trust. I didn't know how, but I believed there was at least one guitar in the whole country of Israel that wanted me to play it. I didn't let any other thought cross my mind.
A week flew by, and still no guitar, let alone any sign of a venue or audience. I had about four days left to my trip, and still nothing. In these last-minute moments, I have found it useful to ask myself some rather curious questions.
Well, one question.
Do I actually trust Life?
Whether Life happens the way I think it should or not, do I trust it? Do I trust this invisible force that breathes in and out of my body every moment of the day, blinking my eyes open and closed, completely bypassing my conscious thoughts of its existence? Do I trust Life to run its ancient, magnetic circuits through my veins, just because it's there? Do I actually trust that whether I am a good person or a bad person, whether I work really really hard for something, or I simply float on the currents of the flow that this Life Substance is truly desiring to abundantly and infinitely give me exactly what I need? Do I trust that I can always, always be taken care of? Not even just to satiate my basic needs, but that Life hears my desire for a simple guitar while I sing a song?
I will probably answer that question differently every time you talk with me. My skeptical side looks around the world and sees quantitative evidence of a strong "No". And yet...I cannot deny an inner voice in me saying that I am part of contributing to the new collective consciousness that will shape a world belief together into a strong, undeniable "YES."
Two days before leaving Jerusalem, I met an Israeli filmmaker. After a conversation about my tour, he said, "We should host a concert for you."
Within 24 hours of that sentence leaving his lips, I had a guitar in my hand, a garden venue with candles, and a full audience of people.
I don't know why sometimes things work out, and sometimes they just don't. I don't understand why trusting Life is the core pulse of our experience of living.
All I know is that I had a capo in my backpack, just in case I met a guitar. What I know is that I was prepared with an evening of original music, just in case there was someone to sing to. And I know I have a long way to go in mastering my craft, but every day I show up.
Life doesn't get to ignore me, and she thanks me for that every day. I am a child on her big cosmic playground, and I know what games I want to play together with her. I am kind and respectful with my requests. But make no mistake...I am also loud, confident, and a constant voice for those eternal ethereal ears. Whether sweet Life gives me everything I want or not, I choose to trust that I am in good hands. I will keep showing up with a capo in my backpack, believing that Life will always have a guitar for me to play. And if that doesn't turn out to be true, well...ok.
Maybe Life is telling me to learn the harmonica.
