This is the day I drowned in Lumina. She took pictures of me attempting to explain why I love her.
And yet it hasn't been perfect here together, and this is the rest of the story. We have come up against a couple pretty high walls as artistic collaborators. For anyone who knows the two of us, you know that our differences are quite real.
Jealousy, resentment, lack of credit-giving, stylization differences, fears, distractions, pet peeves.... there's some ugly thorns with all the roses.
We want to share these things with you too, because we believe in your own artistic endeavors, and want to pass along our experience for you to use when you run into these things as well.
And so one afternoon, I sat on the bed in my room with collaborating partner, and we hashed it all out for hours. We pushed defenses down, and listened to each other. When we were done, we were exhausted... and thrilled. We broke through those walls. We are learning to more fully celebrate our own, and each other's art as we work together. We are committed to unity.
4 comments:
What would you have done if Lumina wasn't willing to talk about it with you?
I just asked Lumina your question and she gave good advice. She said look inside you first. Your giving out the energy to that person which makes them want to not want to communicate with you. She said more than that, but you can email me and we can talk about it some more then. :)
I initiated the conversation with Emily, and began it by confessing what I had been hiding and afraid to tell her. This is essential. You can't manipulate true communication.
If the person doesn't respond, you have to figure out what you're committed to. If it's communicating, then you have to continue to try everything you possibly can, time after time to achieve it.
Sometimes we are offended or looking for an excuse to not do the difficult work of communicating and so we give up.
Speaking of communication I am watching the most amazing form of it right now. It is extreme make over home edition. Both parents are deaf. The oldest boy is normal but the youngest is blind and autistic. How does a blind person communicate with a deaf parent? Well they touch hands and shake their fingers together. It breaks my heart. Personally I barely try to communicate with people because most of the time it's misunderstood. It's easier not to try then to have to do so much explaining afterwards. I was telling Emily once that I want perfect commuincation like when the spirit touches your heart and it's always understood. I have realized I have failed many people in this life by my unwillingness to reach out or if reached out to, to keep it going. I have also realized that what we offer to each other means more than you can imagine.
Emily I can call, email, phone or talk to you in person and we are on the same level almost instantly. If there's a misunderstanding then the other person will instantly say wait a minute that's been misunderstood and it's cleared up immediately. But with most people they react to the misunderstanding and things get blown out of proportion. Up to this passed year in my life it has not been worth the headache. But now everyone keeps reaching out and it never ends and I am sick of fighting it. I am also sick of the misunderstandings and keep going in circles as to which is the greater evil with each person. See how frustrating it is. Even more frustrating I am reponding to 3 people on a computer who aren't replying back immediately. This discussion for me has to happen on the phone or in person. I thought to tell someone what's in your heart was enough. But that's too intense or intimidating for most people. The initial communication from most is deceiving at best. Everyone hides what they really feel. As for you Emily and Lumina I am glad to see your on the same level and that will probably never change. I think your best friends have to be people you can commincate with the best. I just don't get why people would want to have anything to do with someone they can't communicate with. Sorry I can talk or write about this forever. So I will stop here. Thanks for your input. I agree.
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